So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
