I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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