Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
