I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
