I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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