...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
