does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
