Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
