Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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