Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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