I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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