Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
