i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize