I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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