Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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