I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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