Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
