left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize