Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
