I hate all girls vehemently.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
