just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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