Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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