Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm at about main and main street
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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