It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
