How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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