***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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