We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
