he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
