I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
