Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
look no pants
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Mom said you looked used
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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