..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
