I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Couch. On fire.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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