Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
