Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
