His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
