she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize