I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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