Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
