Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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