Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
