I wanna bring you to show and tell
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
