I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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