We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
