you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
