She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Come see our sink grown plant.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
