why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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