We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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