he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
