i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
