i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
