It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
