Christians are straight up FREAKS
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize