I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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