we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
