Are we in a gay sports bar?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
