She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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