OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
