i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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