took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
