Barsexuality is the new black.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My vagina is very pro this idea
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
