she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
