And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He keeps bees of course he's weird
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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