I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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