Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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