So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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