so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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