That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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