im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize