id be glad to
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
