I cannot find my penis.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
