farters have to be the big spoon...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
