you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
