Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
