I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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