i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
