Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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